When the Heart Blooms Again
What stops the flow of love? What transforms me into a cruel person?
In this short article, I don’t want to use many words, just a couple of sentences to accompany the images that reflect my inquiry into the protections of the heart.
The Spanish poet Luis Rosales wrote:
“It's the fear of pain and not the pain that unnerves and hardens us.”
During a period of heartbreak and desolation, I had to witness, in despair, that I was hurting those I loved the most. At some point I decided to stop my obsessive overthinking and to bring my attention to those places in my body that were tight and aching. My breath helped me to go there, and my hands expressed with paint and paper what was impossible to understand rationally.
In this collage, the huge spider, inspired by Louise Bourgeois’ art, is protecting my very young self. Creating this composition showed where my harshness was coming from and allowed me to forgive myself and repair the damage my fear had created.
In some cases, the protection of the heart felt like stone; like a heavy, hard weight that suppresses any kind of feeling or sensitivity. In others, as if my heart were enclosed, but kept alive.
But in days when I thought the blossoming of the heart was not possible anymore, my dear friend Elia painted this other watercolor for me.
She helped me remember that beneath every layer of protection, something within me has always known how to bloom.
And as I watch the first flowers emerging in the land of my childhood, I am grateful that I chose paint and poetry to accompany this inquiry into my deepest feelings, keeping me close, very close, to my own heart.
How do you stay close to yours? How do you know the truth of what’s really going on inside?
How do you know your heart is about to blossom?
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During the corona days I have been filling the empty spaces in my calendar with what I call “soul nurturing time”.